Men are less likely to seek help for mental health difficulties, more likely to use alcohol or drugs to cope, and more likely to die by suicide. This is not because men are weaker. It is because they are often given fewer ways to talk about how they feel.
This guide is for men who want to talk but don't know how to start, and for anyone who wants to support the men in their lives.
Need to talk? Samaritans - 116 123 (free, 24/7) | CALM (Campaign Against Living Miserably) - 0800 58 58 58 (5pm-midnight) | Crisis Text Line - text SHOUT to 85258
Why This Matters
- Suicide is the biggest killer of men under 50 in the UK
- Men account for approximately three-quarters of all suicides
- Men are less likely to access talking therapies than women
- Many men describe pressure to appear strong, self-reliant and in control - even when they are struggling
These are not personal failures. They are the result of cultural expectations that discourage men from asking for help. The good news is that these expectations are changing, and there are practical steps anyone can take.
If You're a Man Who Is Struggling
What you might be feeling
Mental health difficulties in men don't always look like sadness. They can also show up as:
- Irritability, anger or a short fuse
- Drinking more than usual or using substances to cope
- Working excessively or not being able to switch off
- Withdrawing from friends and family
- Physical symptoms: headaches, chest tightness, digestive problems
- Difficulty sleeping or sleeping too much
- Feeling numb, empty or disconnected
- Taking more risks than usual
- Thinking "what's the point?"
Things that might help
- Tell one person. You don't have to tell everyone. Just one person - a friend, a partner, a GP, a helpline. Starting is the hardest part.
- You don't have to explain everything. "I'm not doing great" is enough to start.
- See your GP. Mental health is a health issue. Your GP can help with talking therapy referrals, medication, or simply listening. You can book a double appointment if you need more time.
- Try a helpline. If talking face to face feels too difficult, call Samaritans (116 123) or CALM (0800 58 58 58). They are anonymous, free and judgement-free.
- Text if calling feels hard. Text SHOUT to 85258 for a text-based conversation with a trained volunteer.
- Move your body. Exercise is not a cure for mental illness, but it can help reduce anxiety, improve sleep and give you a sense of control.
- Reduce alcohol. Alcohol is a depressant. It might feel like it helps in the moment, but it makes things harder over time.
- Be patient with yourself. Getting help is not a sign of weakness. It is one of the most difficult and courageous things you can do.
If You Want to Support a Man in Your Life
Starting the conversation
- Don't ask "are you okay?" - it is too easy to say yes. Try: "You haven't seemed yourself recently. How are things really going?"
- Walking, driving or doing an activity together can make conversation easier - side-by-side is often less intense than face-to-face
- Don't push if they're not ready. Say: "No pressure, but I'm here when you want to talk"
- A simple text - "thinking of you, no need to reply" - can mean more than you think
When they open up
- Listen without trying to fix it
- Don't say "man up", "be strong", "other people have it worse" or "you'll be fine"
- Do say: "I'm glad you told me", "That sounds really tough", "What would help right now?"
- Don't make promises you can't keep, but do follow up
- Suggest practical steps gently: "Would it help to talk to your GP?" rather than "You need to see someone"
Keep showing up
- One conversation is a start, not a fix. Keep checking in.
- Invite them to things - even if they say no, the invitation matters
- Don't treat them differently or walk on eggshells
- Look after your own mental health too - supporting someone can be tiring
Where to Get Help
- Samaritans: Call 116 123 (free, 24/7) or email jo@samaritans.org
- CALM (Campaign Against Living Miserably): Call 0800 58 58 58 (5pm-midnight, every day) or use the webchat
- Crisis Text Line: Text SHOUT to 85258
- NHS: Call 111 and select the mental health option
- Your GP: Book an appointment - ask for a double appointment if you need more time
- Andy's Man Club: Free men's talking groups across the UK - andysmanclub.co.uk